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"Are YOU really a GOOD friend?"

   Many times, people are too concerned about finding a good friend and we forget to ask ourselves whether we are good friends to people or not. Ask yourself... Are you a good friend? To really answer this question sincerely, you need to make sure that you look deep within your heart of hearts and really see the kind of person you truly and  really are. Many will discover that they have the element of jealousy in them. When you are jealous about your friends, you have a cancer that will just keep on growing ,and eating at you inside if not dealt with properly. You might be very good when it comes to smiling and talking to people but deep inside, you may be burning up with jealousy. In life, you cannot have the good element of growing a true friendship if you are a jealous and self-centered person. Therefore, you have to look for ways to make YOU a better person. You will heal from your problem(s) only if you are willing to change your negativity/attitude. It is a vital time to embrace healthy competition in life without feeling mad or malice at your close friends. We will always find people who are beyond us no matter how hard we may try, and there is no reason EVER in becoming something you are not. Always stay TRUE to yourself no matter who likes or dislikes it.

        A genuine good friend will overcome jealousy and any negativity by simply confessing. Start by confessing it to yourself. This way, you will help train your mind/heart to actually feel bad or guilty when you do something that you know will not please your friends or hurt them. To become a good friend, you must embrace the spirit of Love, Compassion, understanding, and genuine true affection and this is exactly what you should get back. In many instances, people think that their friends do not notice them being jealous or negative, but the negative fangs of jealousy are pretty hard to hide and chances are that you will make comments, remarks, and decisions that will give you away. Work on this to try and overcome it. Once you are good to go, your life will be much more smoother. You may find that people will give you more respect and such, also you will become more lovable. Let us look at another problem that keeps you from becoming a good friend. If you are out to spoil/smear the names of others, you are likely to remain without a genuine good  friend for a long time if not for life. The moment people know about this sort of attitudes/ behaviors, they will avoid you like the plague.  So SIMPLY Remove your mind from being petty and grow up, may take some time but it will work friends. To make a genuinely  good friend, you need to know that honesty, love, and affection will always carry the day. If you are in a friendship for convenience, what you are gaining will eventually run out and, when this happens, here comes your true colors. Therefore, if you are not willing to show genuine REAL love in a relationship, it is best that you do not enter it in the first place. Be yourself at all times and avoid all those issues/vices that might compromise your friendship. In the end, a genuine true GOOD friendship will always pay and it is worth investing in something real. Try putting the above tips to work, and start to see the differences. You will also be happier instead of just being in limbo, wondering what everyone is thinking about you. In conclusion NEVER worry what others may think of you, good or bad. It is YOU that knows YOU the best, no one else, so do your best in being or becoming that Genuine GOOD FRIEND! Thank You Friends for stopping by my blog, as always feel free to comment,follow,share,email, or just enjoy. Either way I appreciate each and everyone of you that take the time out of your lives to stop by my slice of the web and read what ever it is I may be writing about. Thanks again friends! Truly, Dennis

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TOXIC PEOPLE....THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

"Research confirms - and quantifies - it. Your chances of becoming happy increase by at least 15 percent if someone in your immediate social circle is happy." - Dr. M. OZ

                           OCTOBER 2ND 2013


Hello Friends, This is my first blog since surgery and feeling a bit better than I have in a long time. Today I am posting a blog I wrote some time ago, but after much thought I feel now is the time to share with the world. The month of September has been the worse on me in many personal ways thus far. I am still trying my best to be optimistic and positive about life in general...some days are easier than others lol. Through ALL of this month of HELL, It has become very clear to me WHO is WHO amongst those people in my life that pretend to "care" and the ones that are truly a Blessing to me.....which is ONLY a SMALL handful of people. I have found many people that I thought was REAL to be nothing more than FAKES that love to gossip behind one's back. One in particular had the nerve to say I wanted "pity" pertaining to my health issues! PITY is the Last thing I want...a little compassion would be NICE! We have so much horrible things occurring in this world and folks would rather talk horseshit than make a POSITIVE difference in this world. Anywhoot here is the blog about TOXIC people and a few steps that I came up with to deal with these energy Vampires.
                                                              Toxic People
What toxic people do you know? A parent? A 'friend'? Everyone knows someone who's an emotional vampire -- draining you emotionally dry. But if you have an addiction, whether it's compulsive eating, or gambling or any other addictive behavior, these toxic people know how to trigger you to sabotage yourself by reverting to it.

Stress can result in automatic triggers -- and yes, we're all responsible for our own behavior -- but there's no need to let these toxic people set you back.

Ideally it would be best to be able to talk to the person, and see if you can patch things up, but failing that, follow these rules:

1) Talking: Giving the 'silent treatment' or pretending everything is 'fine' when it's not, will only make matters worse.. Your anger will resurface inappropriately somewhere in the future.

2) Distance: Give a call (no e-mail or text either) and say how you feel. If you need a break, tell them. Say, 'we can speak when we're both not so emotional'. Keep your conversation short.

3) Guilt Don't let others guilt you into doing what you don't want to do. You'll hear, "You SHOULD call your mother, -- after all a mother is a mother," - that type of thing.. If you call, do it for yourself. Keep the conversation short, and have an exit plan in gear -- no anger or guilt.

4) Gossip: Some people love to get involved. They will bad-mouth you privately or publicly. Don't deny that you have issues with the toxic person, but don't fuel the gossip. It will only add to more stories and nonsense.

5) Consequences: There will be consequences for your change in behavior, but Inform mutual friends or close family members what's going on. but, Do not allow them to take sides or be peacemakers.

If you've tried all these steps and nothing worked, you have no option. You must cut all communication. Set strong boundaries. To do this effectively, work through your anger, and then accept that you can't change anyone person. No matter what you do or say, they will be who they are. However, you don't have to accept being hurt any longer, so you're the one who's made a change. Rid Yourself of the Toxic people so YOU can LIVE to your FULLEST potential.                        Thank You Friends for stopping by! Feel free to comment, follow, share, or just enjoy :-)                                    Truly, Dennis Kelly

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