TOXIC PEOPLE....THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

"Research confirms - and quantifies - it. Your chances of becoming happy increase by at least 15 percent if someone in your immediate social circle is happy." - Dr. M. OZ

                           OCTOBER 2ND 2013


Hello Friends, This is my first blog since surgery and feeling a bit better than I have in a long time. Today I am posting a blog I wrote some time ago, but after much thought I feel now is the time to share with the world. The month of September has been the worse on me in many personal ways thus far. I am still trying my best to be optimistic and positive about life in general...some days are easier than others lol. Through ALL of this month of HELL, It has become very clear to me WHO is WHO amongst those people in my life that pretend to "care" and the ones that are truly a Blessing to me.....which is ONLY a SMALL handful of people. I have found many people that I thought was REAL to be nothing more than FAKES that love to gossip behind one's back. One in particular had the nerve to say I wanted "pity" pertaining to my health issues! PITY is the Last thing I want...a little compassion would be NICE! We have so much horrible things occurring in this world and folks would rather talk horseshit than make a POSITIVE difference in this world. Anywhoot here is the blog about TOXIC people and a few steps that I came up with to deal with these energy Vampires.
                                                              Toxic People
What toxic people do you know? A parent? A 'friend'? Everyone knows someone who's an emotional vampire -- draining you emotionally dry. But if you have an addiction, whether it's compulsive eating, or gambling or any other addictive behavior, these toxic people know how to trigger you to sabotage yourself by reverting to it.

Stress can result in automatic triggers -- and yes, we're all responsible for our own behavior -- but there's no need to let these toxic people set you back.

Ideally it would be best to be able to talk to the person, and see if you can patch things up, but failing that, follow these rules:

1) Talking: Giving the 'silent treatment' or pretending everything is 'fine' when it's not, will only make matters worse.. Your anger will resurface inappropriately somewhere in the future.

2) Distance: Give a call (no e-mail or text either) and say how you feel. If you need a break, tell them. Say, 'we can speak when we're both not so emotional'. Keep your conversation short.

3) Guilt Don't let others guilt you into doing what you don't want to do. You'll hear, "You SHOULD call your mother, -- after all a mother is a mother," - that type of thing.. If you call, do it for yourself. Keep the conversation short, and have an exit plan in gear -- no anger or guilt.

4) Gossip: Some people love to get involved. They will bad-mouth you privately or publicly. Don't deny that you have issues with the toxic person, but don't fuel the gossip. It will only add to more stories and nonsense.

5) Consequences: There will be consequences for your change in behavior, but Inform mutual friends or close family members what's going on. but, Do not allow them to take sides or be peacemakers.

If you've tried all these steps and nothing worked, you have no option. You must cut all communication. Set strong boundaries. To do this effectively, work through your anger, and then accept that you can't change anyone person. No matter what you do or say, they will be who they are. However, you don't have to accept being hurt any longer, so you're the one who's made a change. Rid Yourself of the Toxic people so YOU can LIVE to your FULLEST potential.                        Thank You Friends for stopping by! Feel free to comment, follow, share, or just enjoy :-)                                    Truly, Dennis Kelly

A

READ ONLY IF YOU KNOW HOW :-)

Welcome friends to the first day of spring 2013! Too bad it feels like nov. still lol, yes that's right it is STILL very chilly and cold out. Has been a very cold and nippy day, but it was nice and sunny. I gazed out the window this morning, noticing how sunny and nice it looked outside and I thought to myself "wow today is going to be somewhat warmer" nevertheless I was wrong lol. Looks can be very deceiving when it comes to the weather here in my region. Not a huge eventful day...my day consisted of waking at 6:30a.m. actually got a decent night of rest for once in quite some time. So by 7:15 I was out the door and then the cold hit me...BAM! Fooled lol, had to go back inside to change to warmer clothing then back out the door lol. By 8:30 I had six promos/commercials recorded, then it was off to do other works that I do..which is many..too many lol. I finally got back home around 4:00p.m. only to get ready for the private yoga class to begin at 4:30ish. So then close to 5:30ish or so Yoga wrapped up. Then I went straight to My Reiki/prayer meditation room for approx: 35 mins. Once I was able to decompress a bit I started on my Reiki studies, by this time it was sooo time to put food in my body lol. As I was taking a break and eating I received atleast six different calls from "friends" wanting my time or wanting a favor...not ONE asked how I was or anything of that nature. So after finishing up the calls and feeling like an at&t operator, I felt the need to go back into meditation for at least an hour or so. Upon "waking" from my meditation...I kinda realized something about people and friends...of course something I already kinda felt but during my meditation I get answers and blessings, clarity on issues and so forth. I came to see and realize TRUE friends are far and few...that is a bit hurtful, but we all have friends and a lot of folks talk about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship one might ask well....in my opinion, the very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies and such. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves to a true friend. We speak about everything on our minds without worrying about what our friends or others will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk. A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism or backstabbing. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with you  in times of need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the best extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true friend of her children...most mothers anyway. If we share such relations with an adult we can say that we are true friends. A true friend makes no excuses about anything but will be with you whenever your in dire need of him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier.I would say a true friend is like a brother, but I know how siblings can be! Instead of having hundreds of good friends all over the world, from an array of backgrounds, if you have that one true friend, then consider  yourself lucky. If you can become a true friend to someone,you should and I believe you will be blessed.  It is much easier for all of us to expect, but very difficult to give. Be a true friend yourself first then see how the loving circle completes. THANK YOU for stopping by my personal little spot here on the worldwide web. As always feel free to comment, share, express, follow me, and smile :-)
                                                               Truly, Dennis...