"Research confirms - and quantifies - it. Your chances of becoming happy increase by at least 15 percent if someone in your immediate social circle is happy." - Dr. M. OZ
OCTOBER 2ND 2013
Hello Friends, This is my first blog since surgery and feeling a bit better than I have in a long time. Today I am posting a blog I wrote some time ago, but after much thought I feel now is the time to share with the world. The month of September has been the worse on me in many personal ways thus far. I am still trying my best to be optimistic and positive about life in general...some days are easier than others lol. Through ALL of this month of HELL, It has become very clear to me WHO is WHO amongst those people in my life that pretend to "care" and the ones that are truly a Blessing to me.....which is ONLY a SMALL handful of people. I have found many people that I thought was REAL to be nothing more than FAKES that love to gossip behind one's back. One in particular had the nerve to say I wanted "pity" pertaining to my health issues! PITY is the Last thing I want...a little compassion would be NICE! We have so much horrible things occurring in this world and folks would rather talk horseshit than make a POSITIVE difference in this world. Anywhoot here is the blog about TOXIC people and a few steps that I came up with to deal with these energy Vampires.
Toxic People
What toxic people do you know? A parent? A 'friend'? Everyone knows someone who's an emotional vampire -- draining you emotionally dry. But if you have an addiction, whether it's compulsive eating, or gambling or any other addictive behavior, these toxic people know how to trigger you to sabotage yourself by reverting to it.
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OCTOBER 2ND 2013
Hello Friends, This is my first blog since surgery and feeling a bit better than I have in a long time. Today I am posting a blog I wrote some time ago, but after much thought I feel now is the time to share with the world. The month of September has been the worse on me in many personal ways thus far. I am still trying my best to be optimistic and positive about life in general...some days are easier than others lol. Through ALL of this month of HELL, It has become very clear to me WHO is WHO amongst those people in my life that pretend to "care" and the ones that are truly a Blessing to me.....which is ONLY a SMALL handful of people. I have found many people that I thought was REAL to be nothing more than FAKES that love to gossip behind one's back. One in particular had the nerve to say I wanted "pity" pertaining to my health issues! PITY is the Last thing I want...a little compassion would be NICE! We have so much horrible things occurring in this world and folks would rather talk horseshit than make a POSITIVE difference in this world. Anywhoot here is the blog about TOXIC people and a few steps that I came up with to deal with these energy Vampires.
Toxic People
What toxic people do you know? A parent? A 'friend'? Everyone knows someone who's an emotional vampire -- draining you emotionally dry. But if you have an addiction, whether it's compulsive eating, or gambling or any other addictive behavior, these toxic people know how to trigger you to sabotage yourself by reverting to it.
Stress can result in automatic triggers -- and yes, we're all responsible for our own behavior -- but there's no need to let these toxic people set you back.
Ideally it would be best to be able to talk to the person, and see if you can patch things up, but failing that, follow these rules:
1) Talking: Giving the 'silent treatment' or pretending everything is 'fine' when it's not, will only make matters worse.. Your anger will resurface inappropriately somewhere in the future.
2) Distance: Give a call (no e-mail or text either) and say how you feel. If you need a break, tell them. Say, 'we can speak when we're both not so emotional'. Keep your conversation short.
3) Guilt Don't let others guilt you into doing what you don't want to do. You'll hear, "You SHOULD call your mother, -- after all a mother is a mother," - that type of thing.. If you call, do it for yourself. Keep the conversation short, and have an exit plan in gear -- no anger or guilt.
4) Gossip: Some people love to get involved. They will bad-mouth you privately or publicly. Don't deny that you have issues with the toxic person, but don't fuel the gossip. It will only add to more stories and nonsense.
5) Consequences: There will be consequences for your change in behavior, but Inform mutual friends or close family members what's going on. but, Do not allow them to take sides or be peacemakers.
If you've tried all these steps and nothing worked, you have no option. You must cut all communication. Set strong boundaries. To do this effectively, work through your anger, and then accept that you can't change anyone person. No matter what you do or say, they will be who they are. However, you don't have to accept being hurt any longer, so you're the one who's made a change. Rid Yourself of the Toxic people so YOU can LIVE to your FULLEST potential. Thank You Friends for stopping by! Feel free to comment, follow, share, or just enjoy :-) Truly, Dennis Kelly
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